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Exploring pickleball attachment styles
DALLAS, TX - Finding the right doubles partner can be hard, almost as hard as finding a life partner.
There are so many different types of personalities on the court, and depending on the kind of partner you’re looking for, your search could take a while.
The Attachment Theory is a recently popularized psychology theory that focuses on defining different relationship dynamics one has in their life and helps people better understand themselves and their partners.
While the theory generally applies to romantic relationships, there’s definitely a correlation with America's fastest-growing sport because pickleball partnerships can be some of the healthiest and most positive experiences, or something completely toxic.
Using Attachment Theory, you can figure out what kind of relationship attachment style you have, and evaluate your doubles partner’s relationship attachment style as well.
There are four different attachment styles adults tend to fall into: anxious, avoidant, anxious-avoidant, and secure.
Here are some examples to help identify your partner’s attachment style:
Anxious Pickleball Attachment Style
This is for players who will only go to a court if they can reserve it online. Want to check out the new courts in town? Don’t ask the anxious pickleball attachment style player because they’re not going unless they can book a court ahead of time and guarantee a spot.
This type of player will also text on average three times before you meet up to play, just to confirm again and again that you’re meeting at the correct court at the correct time.
Your anxious pickleball partner is likely to drive by the community courts after work to check and make sure you haven’t partnered up with someone else... after everything you two have been through!
They need your constant reassurance, and if you’re communicative, your partnership may turn out okay. Words of affirmation will be a key element in your partnership’s success. However, if they can ace a serve, you should probably keep them around.
Avoidant Pickleball Attachment Style
At first, avoidant pickleball partners may appear to be level-headed and confident on the court. Sounds like an ideal partnership, but just know they always have a back-up plan.
Things might be going very well for you both in the 4.0 bracket, medaling easily at local tournaments and trending in the right direction. Maybe you guys can even play at Nationals. But, if they eventually find someone else with a better skill set, they’ll up and leave you.
And you’ll find out in the worst possible way... after you've already signed up for an upcoming tournament and you're ghosted when they need to pay for registration.
It’s going to hurt, but you can make it through this pickleball heartbreak.
These ones are tricky. Be wary of these partners. Have your guard up.
Anxious-Avoidant Pickleball Attachment Style
These are the worst partners on the court, essentially walking red flags. They’re the type to go too far celebrating wins against opponents, or angrily toss their paddle at the ground in frustration and likely breaking it. They’re too invested in each and every point, as if facing the Johns brothers in front of a worldwide TV audience when their opponents are actually 3.0 players Betty and Earl with matching outfits.
They’re also the kind of partner who will just sign you up for a tournament and forget to tell you about it until the day before. Then, they'll demand that you change your plans if you’re busy. It doesn’t matter if it’s your sister’s baby shower, you need to cancel it.
Passion on the pickleball court is a good thing, but too much intensity can be overbearing for any partnership. This might be the kind of partnership that borders on pickleball toxic, and you might need to start going to different courts and finding a new partner.
Secure Pickleball Attachment Style
This is the superior partnership and the healthiest example of a pickleball union.
Find yourself a doubles partner who’s reliable, prompt, and a good communicator. If they make it clear they’re not looking at any other doubles partners out there, they’re exclusively yours. That's a keeper.
Secure pickleball attachment partners exhibit what a solid partnership on the court should look like. They kindly celebrate your wins and remain hopeful in loses. They’ll effectively plan out when you two will test your skills at a tournament, and maybe even coordinate outfits. It’s going to be the perfect match.
If you just got out of a toxic pickleball partnership or you're still looking for your perfect partner, keep your chin up! You never know if a new partnership could be around the corner.
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