The more rec pickleball I play, the more I run into players who challenge more than just my game.

They test my patience, too.

That’s part of what makes pickleball so great. It’s a wildly diverse sport, and every time you step on the court, you’re meeting a new mix of personalities. But let’s be honest—there are always a few players you spot at open play and immediately hope you don’t get paired with.

These are the worst types of people to play pickleball with.

The Loud Family

If you remember the iconic 1978 Saturday Night Live skit “The Loud Family,” you’ve probably encountered its pickleball equivalent. These are the players who talk, grunt, and celebrate at full volume, turning a casual rec game into something closer to an operatic performance.

Pickleball already gets enough criticism for being loud thanks to the paddles and balls. The last thing we need is someone on court adding their own surround sound with every shot.

The apologist 

We all make mistakes, and we’ve all had net cords go against us. But the overly apologetic pickleball player takes it to another level. After every single point, whether it’s their fault or not, they’re saying “sorry” like they just cost you a Triple Crown at the PPA World Championships.

Relax. You don’t need to apologize to your partner for missing a ball by a few inches. It’s rec play, it’s not that serious.

The future pro

This person might be my least favorite rec player to run into. You know the type, usually a Brad or a Chad, who somehow has a full-time job but is never actually at it, and insists he would’ve gone pro if it weren’t for that shoulder injury back in high school.

Brad/Chad genuinely believes he’s Federico Stakrsud and is convinced he’d take down Christian Alshon 11-0, 11-6 without breaking a sweat.

Of course, he’s also grunting like he’s in “The Loud Family,” rewrapping his paddle between games, setting up a tripod to film every rec match, and posting highlight reels of his “new power serve” that’s almost definitely illegal.

Brad/Chad, best of luck on the journey to going pro. Maybe start with a local Moneyball first.

The unintentional body bagger  

Now this one really grinds my gears. This is the player who may or may not be aiming at you, but somehow still manages to drill a forehand straight into your forehead.

There’s absolutely no reason to be targeting someone’s head, yet it keeps happening in rec play. At this point, consider this your sign to hop on Pickleball Central and order a pair of Kitchen Blocker glasses because apparently, protecting your eyes from body-bagging Karen is part of the game now.

The newbie with the JOOLA

This is the player I genuinely fear. Usually it’s someone like “Trish” — a local mom who just picked up pickleball after school drop-off and went straight to Amazon to order the most expensive paddle she could find.

The problem? She’s never played a racket sport in her life, yet she’s wielding one of the most powerful paddles with absolutely no control. At any moment, she could turn into an unintentional body bagger. Every swing feels like a gamble, and you’re left chasing down out ball after out ball while trying to stay out of the line of fire.

If you run into this player, your best bet is to finish the game quickly and move on. But if this sounds a little too familiar, and you’re wondering why no one’s lining up to drill with you, consider this your wake-up call.

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